Pizza Pie

I love pizza.  I pretty much like anything that is sort of like pizza.  In addition to making my own with real pizza dough and real pizza sauce, I have used things like tortillas, pita bread, and crescent rolls from a can for the crust.  I have even been known to spread ketchup on white bread, top it with mozzarella, stick it under the broiler, and call it pizza.

I've tried all kinds of frozen pizzas and pizza-like things, my favorites being Bagel Bites and Stouffer's French bread pizza (sausage and pepperoni).  Although I've tried all kinds of microwavable pizza products, the best ones are baked in a conventional oven.

Cruising down the frozen foods aisle at Kroger yesterday, I spotted Kroger's own microwavable French bread pizza called "4 Minute French Bread Pizza Pepperoni."  I was intrigued, and since it only cost $1, I bought one.

The bread, a bit smaller than Stouffer's, comes in a little cardboard tray with that shiny silvery paper (technically called susceptor film, I believe) on the bottom and sides that's supposed to brown things in the microwave.  Despite its name, the directions say to nuke it for 2 to 3-1/2 minutes or until the cheese melts.  Since our microwave is more powerful than a locomotive, I checked it after 2 minutes, and it was then that the appalling lack of cheese (my favorite part of any pizza) became horrifyingly apparent.  I added my own shredded mozzarella, nuked it for 30 seconds more, and then began the taste test.

It was ... well, edible, but without the extra cheese I added, it would not have been.  As cheap, quick-to-prepare lunches go, it wasn't bad, but Bagel Bites have nothing to worry about.