Aw, go float yourself.

As I unwrapped a bar of Ivory soap, I heard the advertisements of my childhood clearly in my head:  "It floats!" and especially, "99 and 44/100 percent pure!"

And I said to myself, “Pure what?” I never really gave it a thought.

Some casual research revealed the answer: it is pure soap. Huh?

That required a little further research as I know diddly about soap making. It seems that soap is made from an alkali (basically lye or potash) and a fat (animal or vegetable). Manufacturers often add substances or chemicals that affect the smell, color, consistency, or generality of it.

Proctor and Gamble did not do that, and to prove it (to whom, nobody seems to know), sometime in the 1890's somebody from P&G sent samples of their white soap to independent laboratories for analysis. One scientist’s report noted that the total sum of the impurities in the soap was 0.56%. Some enterprising P&G executive who could subtract got the bright idea to advertise its purity with the famous appellation, “99 and 44/100% pure.”

As for the floating, that's the result of whipping it full of air. Whether the air is hot or not, it is extremely appropriate for advertising purposes.

Brain Fuzz

Everybody knows that the mind tends to get a little fuzzy as we grow older. I can still be surprised, however, by the extent of the effects of my own fuzzy brain.

As for instance last evening, when I decided my aperitif would be one of my newer favorites, a Tom Collins.

I put light rum, lime juice and simple syrup in a tall glass, used my tiny battery-powered frother to mix it thoroughly, added ice cubes, then filled the glass with club soda, stirring with a wooden chop stick (more on that some other time).

It was terrible. Well, okay, maybe not terrible, but not good. It basically tasted like carbonated lime. Adding a little more sugar syrup helped, but it was still a disappointment.

I mentally reviewed every step I had taken, and found no fault. In case I had gotten the proportions wrong, I looked up the recipe I always use. It then became perfectly clear that I had used the correct manner and method for a Tom Collins with the ingredients for a Daiquiri.

Maybe old people with fuzzy brains should drink fuzzy navels.

Neighboring States

When the U.S. Mint started their State Quarters series in 1999, I started saving them. When the program was over ten years later, I had six complete sets, and I decided that was enough.

Any time one comes my way, I still do save the Illinois quarter, however, it being my favorite. Yes, I live in Michigan, but I’m from Illinois. (See my post on this topic from October 3, 2010.)

A few years ago I happened to be in a coin store and decided I would buy a silver proof Illinois quarter. Proof coins are intended for collectors and are struck with highly polished dies on highly polished blanks and are – well, highly polished, and very shiny and pretty. Some coins, the State Quarters among them, also come in a silver proof variety. Instead of the regular copper and tin alloy of common quarters, these are 90 percent silver, just like our quarters (and dimes and half dollars and dollars) used to be back in the day.

When I got home, I was admiring the coin, but I suddenly realized it was not silver. There was a distinct coppery tinge to the edge of it. I took it back to the store, complained to the guy who sold it to me, and was given a genuine silver Illinois quarter in exchange.

Last week I was in that same coin shop, and I thought it would be fun to get another silver Illinois quarter. The man waiting on me went off to see if he had one.  At one point he called out, “What year is the Illinois?”  I told him it was 2003, and in a minute he came back with a bright, shiny coin.  I studied it very closely, making sure there was no tell-tale copper color on the edge. Finally convinced it was silver, I paid the man and went away happy.

When I got home, I was admiring my new coin -- there was George Washington on one side, and on the other side where Abe Lincoln should be, there was the Gateway Arch.

Yep, it’s genuine silver, all right. But it’s Missouri.