If I were actually rich

If I had a crapload of money, I would hire a scullery maid. I love to cook, but I hate cleaning up the kitchen. Yes, we have a dishwasher, and yes, people I know, like my beloved niece, put everything in the dishwasher, but I just can't. I want the expensive knives to last me the rest of my life, so they don't go into the dishwasher. And I worry about tiny plastic stuff. And so I wash plastic and most of the metal, especially cookie sheets and pots and pans, and sometimes the flatware and cocktail shakers and shot glasses and utensils. And so I wish I had a scullery maid who would clean the kitchen and wash the pots and pans and wipe the counters and clean the stove top. And that's what I have to say about that.