This is the story about my Aunt Mae and the Jewish turd.
For the record, she was my father's oldest sibling and my favorite aunt. She was smart and well-read and interesting and funny.
Aunt Mae couldn't stand snobbish, pretentious people and whenever she found herself in the company of someone of that ilk, she could not resist the temptation to strike a blow.
To that end, she would ask such a person, "Have you heard about the man and the Jewish turd?"
She would get, as she expected, a negative response and a somewhat shocked countenance, whereupon she would continue, "Well, there was a man who had a Jewish turd ..."
At this point she'd stop, pretending she just noticed the listener's discomfiture. "Oh, I'm sorry," she'd say pleasantly. "Do you know what a Jewish turd is?"
Said listener would say, "No, I don't," and be visibly relieved, expecting her to explain that "turd" is a Yiddish word for some inoffensive thing, but she would reply, "It's a piece of shit about this long," holding her hands about six inches apart.
And then she would move on. Mission accomplished.
Did I mention Aunt Mae was my favorite?
