Stone Face

There is a television commercial in which the Geico gecko is at Mt. Rushmore walking along through a tunnel that turns out to be George Washington's eye socket. The last time I saw it a fugitive thought swept through my mind concerning which Presidential faces would be carved into that mountain if it were being done today.

Washington, Jefferson and Lincoln, absolutely, but Teddy Roosevelt? Probably not. For all that he was bigger than life in a lot of ways, he has faded from the American memory, and whatever his accomplishments, he was not in the same class as the other three. Maybe that's why Borglum stuck him back in the corner.

I have been to Mt. Rushmore twice, once with my parents when I was in high school and most recently with my wife and her sister about three years ago. It's an odd kind of thing, as tourist attractions go. There's really nothing to do, so despite paying a bunch of money to park the car and walking a long way, you just sort of stand there and look up at it and then turn to your companions and say, "Well, I've seen it. Shall we go?"

We did manage to have a slightly more interesting experience there on our most recent trip to South Dakota. My wife wanted a souvenir from Mt. Rushmore to add to her little rock collection. She drove around the park until we were more or less behind the carvings, although we could still see George in profile. She pulled over to the side of the road and her sister jumped out of the car and picked up a couple small rocks which, considering our position, probably were not even chiseled from the faces.

At that moment, however, a park ranger in an SUV pulled up across the road from us, rolled down his window and said in stentorian tones, "Madam, all rock resources must remain in the park. Please replace the rocks." She did, and then as we drove away, the ranger turned his vehicle around and followed us until we left the park.

It's really rather exhilarating to be considered dangerous and capable of desecrating a national treasure.