Be kind, rewind

People post things on Facebook all the time that are intended to help us improve ourselves. Just now I saw one that my wife shared, although I don’t know who put it out there originally. It was writ large in white letters on a black background so that it stood out, and it said:

You seriously have no idea what people are dealing with in their personal life. So just be nice, it's that simple.

I agree with that, but I also know it presents two inherent difficulties. One is, any person who is generally not nice will not suddenly renounce their nastiness and be kind to everybody from now on just because they read that on Facebook. It is just not going to happen. In fact, I don’t think all the Facebook platitudes that remind us to be nice to each other, which number in the gazillions, have any chance of helping those people who are just plain grouchy and taking it out on everybody else.

The second problem is that while we are being nice because we know people are dealing with things we don’t know about, it will not improve our interactions with such persons.

Take, for instance, that man at work who is mired in a perpetual bad mood. He grunts replies, he is unpleasant in every way, and he makes no effort to slide nicely along with his coworkers. As a result, you consider him a real jerk, and he annoys the hell out of you.

Then you find out that his wife has left him for another man, his twelve-year-old son was just diagnosed with Asberger Syndrome, his mother has colon cancer, his teenaged daughter wrecked the car, and he’s having trouble making ends meet.

Once you understand what a horror his life has become, you understand why he growls and is grumpy and makes no effort to get along.

But understanding will not solve any of the problem. He will still annoy the hell out of you, and he will still act like a real jerk.

But if you’re nice, you’ll find your reward in heaven.