There was a posting on Facebook yesterday in which someone wanted to share his or her pet peeves regarding recipes. I never found out what they were since the link didn’t open. But, of course, it got me to thinking about the things that irk me when reading recipes. (I bet you think I’m going to list them for you now, don’t you?)
Well, yes, I am. Here are my recipe peeves, in no particular order:
The ingredients are not listed in the order they are used.
An ingredient is listed but we are never told what to do with it.
All the instructions that assume I am a complete idiot, some of my favorites being:
“Remove from oven and serve. ” Seriously? Take it out of the oven?
“Cover with a clean kitchen towel.” Won’t a dirty one do? I mean, really.
“Mix eggs and milk together in a bowl.” Why not in the sink?
“Ladle soup into bowls and serve.” Oh, so that’s how you eat that stuff!
I admit that it’s not just recipes that cause me to bristle when common sense is ignored. I hate being asked a question to which the answer is obvious, mostly because of the effort it takes to restrain from uttering the acerbic retort that bubbles to my lips.
When, for instance, someone asks me what I am doing when it is palpably apparent that I am washing dishes or reading a book or eating a sandwich, I have learned to reply very politely, “I’m sewing buttons on pancakes.”
And that seems to settle it.
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