N E I (the opposite of T M I)

I just opened a package of frozen fish fillets (ocean perch) which is going to be our supper tonight.  I am thawing them out even as I write.

There was a small notch at the edge of the plastic bag they came in with a notation to "Tear here."  I believe if you go back in time and blogs you will find my thoughts on the prospect of somebody inventing a package that says "To open tear here" that would actually open if I tore there.  I had to use scissors on this one.

Each fillet comes wrapped in its own plastic, so I dumped the lot into a sink full of cold water.  Before tossing the outer "tear here" bag, I thought I'd check the back to see if there was any useful information.  It says in order to thaw the fish more quickly than over night in the refrigerator (which never thaws anything over night), I was to submerge them in cold water.  Ha!  Way ahead of 'em on that one.

I also found the following:

COOKING INSTRUCTIONS:  Cook from frozen or thawed. 
Remove all packaging.  Grease or cooking spray the pan, or aluminum foil if grilling.  Season as desired.  Cook until fish flakes easily with a fork.

Cook from frozen or thawed?  Who writes this stuff?

Remove all packaging?  You mean, don't cook the plastic?  And when did "cooking spray" become a verb?  If you put the fish on aluminum foil on the grill, you are not grilling, you are frying.  And I think the final message should be changed to "Cook until it's done."  That would finish it off nicely.

Okay, I did finally notice a tiny box underneath this paragraph that says

Preheat 425F
Frozen: 13 minutes
Thawed:  9-11 minutes

So, they do give you enough to go on after all, assuming you are adequately perceptive. 

But why would it take exactly 13 minutes if the fish is frozen, but if it's thawed, the cooking time could vary by as much as two minutes?  Huh?  Answer me that.

There will be squished baby yellow potatoes to go with, though.  Yum.